Jesus Christ! Can he be any more clumsy? Or can he at least turn on the light? I mean, that's what I'm here for. Not to be knocked over in a sleepy haze while heading to the bathroom.
Over and over and over again.
I need a new shade. Mine is torn and out of style. Maybe something in a maroon color... or better yet, a forest green. That would fit perfectly with my wooden stand.
I wouldn't imagine lamps would have much to say.
P.S. I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and gay! and I pity any girl who isn't me today.