I could outdo Glee

I want to make a Jukebox musical series that instead of making it about performing, have it be that the songs are almost spur of the moment like in a lot of musicals and have to do with the plot.
And NOT massacre some of my favorite songs.
Once again for effect
NOT... Massacre... Some... Of... My... Favorite... Wait for it...
Maybe have some characters being stoners singing Bohemian Rhapsody, and they could be getting paranoid when the song gets to "I see a little silhouette of a man"
Or maybe have a couple talking on the phone with the song "Telephone" (bleh, not that great of a song but that's what came into mind first) and one of them being in a club
I'd try to write... But I'm not good at writing characters...
But actually if someone could do that, and not make it cheesy because cheesy is popular now, just like obscurity... but make it fun and good writing.

Are you still waiting? ... Songs!
Yeah, I hate Glee... So what?

I'm Dr.Doolittle... Except Only With Spiders

*Note: I did not drink, ingest, or smoke anything that caused this story, unless you can drink the feel of being tired*
I started talking to a spider for my own entertainment last night and I was just saying things like "Hiya spider, thanks for catching that mosquito because, as you know Mr. Spider, I have a reaction when bitten" and it was very innocent.
Until I got up for a drink of water.
I came back to the spider, and instinctively I said "so where were we?" and pondered a second and then realized "ah, right mosquitoes. Did you know that when I was a little kid, a mosquito bit my on my cheek and my whole face was swollen, no joke... "
And I just carried on talking like I was just getting to know him, unaware that I was talking to a spider, and it didn't stop until I asked
"Well, I should go to bed, it was nice talking to you mr..."
At that moment, I realized that I had shared my life story with a spider... and I don't even think he was listening, he was just wrapping up a butterfly...
And then I grabbed a Dr. Pepper and went to bed.

Spiders aren't great listeners...
Edit: I originally said beer, but I meant to say Dr. Pepper... I don't even drink... beer was on my mind because I was watching Cheers... I lied about having a hangover :(
I'm sorry, can you forgive me?
I'm not even old enough to drink yet :(
I'll make sure not to lie again :D


My luck with computers

All right, I have about 3 laptops now... Why so many?
Computer One: I got this computer as a gift from my Mom who didn't want it anymore...
The Tragedy: I was on the computer and decided "I want some chips," so I got up and my knee ever so lightly brushed the desk that it laid upon, and with the force of a boulder tossing catapult, the computer flew up, fell, and the screen landed on the ground, screen first.
The Results: a cracked screen. The computer works but I need a new screen for it.
The Solution: My sister gave me her old computer because she got a new one.
Computer Two: the one my sister gave me.
The Tragedy: I was on the computer trying to... attain movies and music through by... a questionable process... and bang...
The Results: It won't turn on.
The Solution: My neighbor threw a computer in the trash can... What the Hell? So at night, I snuck over, and grabbed it (hoping to find a computer with a working screen) I found a working computer... with no wires, but I used an older computer's wire to charge it, and it worked.
Computer Three (My current computer): I found it in a garbage can.
The Tragedy: Out of nowhere the lighting for the computer turned off,
The Solution: I turned the brightness level all the way down and reset the computer,
The Tragedy: The computer turns off randomly
The Solution: I live with it.

Computers hate me
P.S. They really do hate me.
P.P.S. Thanks to the concern about my hangover and the well wishes


My head hurts

Literally. I don't find anything funny right now. Not even Shaun of the Dead is cheering me up right now.
The world of media seems to be out fuck me as of now... Fuck it, I'm gonna finish my book.

Headaches are the shit... If you're a masochist.


My mind likes to hurt me

I hate talking about my dreams, it's like reliving getting shot in the chest, or the horror of being chased by an evil cherub statue that flies.
I've decided that I'll talk about it anyway though, because I love hurting myself for other people's benefit. (I do half a front cartwheel thing where I end up landing on my back... I really don't know how to illustrate this with words, but I hope you'll get it... but I do it just to entertain people (mainly girls, I'm a sucker to 'em all))
The dream about the cherub was actually one of my most detailed dreams ever, I was working in a statue factory that was forcing me and my girlfriend and her sister to make statues. The person making us do this was the flying cherub statue... Apparently I have an inner fear of cherubs because they will make you their bitch, whips and scalding water as a punishment (I didn't get punished because I'm a good workin' man, gf and sister on the other hand...) somehow we've all escaped and there's George and he invites us to hide in his house by the train tracks, the house is like an oversized version of  the stairs you have to lower by blowing up by putting one bomb between two other bombs which causes a domino effect with more bombs in Dodongo's Cavern in Zelda Ocarina of Time, but each step was about 6 feet tall... 
I climbed up the house and when I got to the top, the statue came to attack me (It moved like it was on a wire, and the body and face didn't move, it laughed but it's mouth was still and shit like that) but after it flew at me a few times, I caught it and said to George who was there "You know, there's a problem with this statue. The neck is too thin, I mean the head could snap" I crack the head off by slamming the statue against my knee "just like that"... I woke up and I felt like a badass because of that line
I had another dream, but it wasn't detailed, but I still felt badass throughout the most of it.
I am moving a box outside when I hear yells coming from next door (I lived in an apartment at the time, but this was two houses... in fact, I don't think there were any houses besides those two.) Yells of a fight and then a gunshot and a scream, a walk over with a pair of scissors in my hands (Don't ask me how I got it) and I look through the window as the door opens, I sneak over and a see a guy threatening to blow a girl's head off, he's holding her in a headlock and there's a little kid that he's yelling incoherent things and every now and again "I'll kill her!" so with my scissors, I sneak behind the man and put the scissors to his neck swiftly and say "what seems to be the problem here?" The girls run off to call the police (even though he's still holding a gun at them and the scissors were a pair of scissors I have at my desk in real life and they can barely cut Jello so I doubt they could slit anyone's neck but then again, it's a dream) He starts yelling profanities at me so I try to tell him to calm down and try to walk him somewhere, as we're walking, I slip and drop the scissors, he turns the gun at me and I'm sitting up straight, in bed, feeling for bullet holes in my chest.

Dreams are fucking weird.


A lesson in "reverse psychology"

You don't want to read this or express your opinion here.

P.S. You really don't, trust me


I've gone and lost my originality.

    • Taylor (me)
      news reporters are dumb
  • George (pal)
    • why so
  • Taylor
    • In a hostage situation, they were reporting exactly what the police were planning to do... The people committing the act were watching the TV to see just that, what the police were planning to do.
  • George
    • wow, how the fuck did the press get that info
  • Taylor
    • They were outside watching the police.
  • George
    • dumbasses. did they get away?
  • Taylor
    • The hostages were killed... This was a while ago though, in Germany... It's still dumb.
  • George
    • what the hell
  • Taylor
    • yup
  • George
    • this is why i don't like reporters
  • Taylor
    • exactly
  • George
    • were you a hostage?
  • Taylor
    • what?
    • No, I'm just watching old news video
  • George
    • it must suck to be a dead hostage
  • Taylor
    • It must suck to be a hostage in general
  • George
    • uh hu, you know i used to think gunpoint was a place
  • Taylor
    • brb
    • bvcxsasxcvghjk
  • George
    • the art of naming volcanos
  • Taylor
    • You could be a documentary about that
  • George
    • hmmmmmmmm
  • Taylor
    • mhmhmhmhmhmhmhmh
  • George
    • i would do it but, documentarys bore me
  • Taylor
    • brb again
    • kcab
  • George
    • i am not a documentary
  • Taylor
    • This... Fucking... Internet.
  • George
    • sounds pretty bad
  • Taylor
    • I had a connection, but as soon as I plugged in my headphones. THE FUCKING CONNECTION WAS GONE. Now I am in the attic trying to get a connection
  • George
    • hahahahaah
  • Taylor
  • George
    • ehehehehehe
  • Taylor
    • I accidentally nudged it with my fucking knee. I had to change rooms otherwise a connection would be nonexistant.
  • George
    • that sucks
  • Taylor
    • FUUCK
  • George
    • hahahahaha
  • Taylor
  • George 
    • i bet
  • Taylor
    • I didn't even fucking want casp= lock
    • ..../
    • every time I type something, something I don't want to show up, like a typo, will fucking show up.

      In other words, I can't hold up a conversation without one thing switching to another, over and over again... Also, I have decided, I want to move to Sweden for a Summer and do street performances for the Summer.

      Edit: sorry about the color problem, and thank you SamArmy for notifying me through your comment.



Youtube. For the most part, I can't stand it. At most, a good 30% is good, and that's not counting the many duplicate videos and videos that are under a minute. Then there is the comments. One small detail of the video can be taken the wrong way by one person, and then the whole comment page on a video about the proper use of toenail clippers, filled with comments against the sexual overtones of the video.Third, Youtube is not a place to voice your opinion on the waiter last night who ended. Last, there are the people who think that since they can make their classroom laugh or that their parents think they can sing, they can make everyone on the internet laugh or charm the world with their voice, but what we end up with is some mobile phone recording of them squawking or them flailing around and making the jokes we hear every day in our own social life.
I hate to seem like a critic, but if Youtube were a movie, I would give it one and a half stars with the following critique.
"It started out as a promising flick with a mixture of varieties, and with some great vocals, but as it drew closer to the middle, I saw what could only be described as a disastrous piece of tripe that seemed like a 12 year old would have written and the music grew exceedingly worse with the further I got into it. If you want a good film, watch about the first third."

P.S. I really struggle at coming up with good topics, doesn't it seem?


So I had to shave. (re-posted after I translated it over and over)

Because of my music, to confirm, but I do not know when I have a role, even in the U.S., I went to HT ... ... ... ... ... .. This is just a game community ... ... ... ... ... The odd thing is listening, can successfully cope with, fishing ... ... ... ... ... But now I have to shave, I think, it began to grow thick ... ... ... ... ... ... ... oh. I love Google Chrome like hell to accept the word. The report really ... every fire base and the lack of warning. Nearly all the rights, but You can stop the slow motion, you never know what will happen in the regional business. Roger and out. Jimmy, I have a special party of soldiers, now is the time for sleep. All rights 

PS I swear this night, watching a beautiful place, but I suggest you go to the bathroom, when you return, re-read what I wrote (and often forgotten, he wrote again, this is little interest in pop music and monologue) damn confused.


So I had to shave.

Because I'm going to be in a musical, that's already confirmed, but I don't know if I have a role though. I'm going to be in HT$... It's just a community play though... It feels weird to have a smooth face after s while of scruff... but now that I shaved it finally feels like it's starting to grow thick... Goddammit. I love how Google Chrome accepts Goddammit as a word.
Nothing to really report on... There's no fire on the base and there's no warning signal. over.
All right, but keep on guard, you never know what could happen in a battle zone. over
Roger that, over and out.
Jimmy, I told you to put your toy soldiers away, now it's time for bed.
All right Mom...
Good night.

P.S. I swear this made sense, but I left to go to the bathroom and when I came back I re-read what I wrote (I usually forget what I write seconds after, I have a small attention span that's usually taken up by music and monologues) And I was confused as fuck.


Fuck me... With a rake.

I think I might start "Vlogging" because I think a lot of my "jokes" (rants) have timing issues that I can't display also, I think I'm going to try getting my ass in gear and start ranting (posting) every day again... but on the topic of the title.
So recently I've been on Facebook a lot and I usually forget about the "Make everyone leave me the fuck alone" button (Usually is translated into: Every fuckin' time) and I am, as you would say, a pushover, a "beta", and I find it hard to defriend people on Facebook (except for one bitch, but that's another story)
So I'm writing an essay (woo, summer work) and suddenly I hear the noise "Brah-ding"... "What the fuck was that?... Oh yeah, Facebook." and blam, Ex alert.
Me at this moment: Oh for the love of Christ. (as it has been established, I am not too big on religion, I don't hate it, I just can't stand it being preached nonstop (irony, I'm Mormon... kind of), I used "Christ" as an expression to display my disgust.)
So my ex wants to talk to me. All right, no biggy.
Ex: hi
Me: Hello
Ex: wassup?
I am stuck in a state where I am bored at all times, I do not want to talk about how I've done nothing, and I just don't want to talk to my ex so I try shocking her to get her to leave.
Me: I shaved my crotch.
Me: Yes?
Ex: I wax
Goddammit. It did not work. I don't have the balls to say "Fuck off" so I continue chatting with her and making dirty responses to get her off my ass.
Ex: I think mah girlfriend likes me. I told her I was bi and she said "score" and every tuesday she grabs my boobs and says "Innapropriate touch tuesday"
Me: Well I don't blame her, You got some tasty boobs girl, I'd be on 'em all day long and and maybe on a bit more
This is me talking out of my ass trying to get her to leave because when we were together she would smack me over the head for saying something like that.
Ex: ___ is unavailable to chat right now, you may send a message, yadiyadiyada.
I tell my friend George that I finally got the bitch away from me over chat and he congratulates me and suddenly
Ex: Sorry, I had to help get groceries (she lives with her parents who I am actually good friends with still) and thanks for the compliment.
At the point I opened a Dr. Pepper bottle and just walked away from the computer and rammed my head into the nearest table.



Whoo, Birthday Time

So yesterday I turned a year older, it feels great because I got breakfast in bed and I got to make my own cake.
One thing that happened was I was talking to my step-dad at a buffet the day before my birthday and I said "Man, it feels great to have a birthday still with my whole family" and a random guy just happened to overhear
While grabbing some more food the guy walked up to me and said "you're getting older tomorrow"
"Happy Birthday, It's my birthday tomorrow, too"
"Haha, awesome, well, Happy Birthday to  you."
And it made my day feel great.