Stream of Mind

So the other day I was talking to a friend when suddenly I just thought "what would happen if everybody said what they thought out loud for one day, like that movie 'Invention of Lies'"...
It didn't take long to realize a bunch of relationships would probably end and some new might start. Some people would be walking down the streets just singing and others would be shouting profanities.
Movie theaters would be near impossible to go to because everyone would be shouting out what they thought immediately and Stage-actors would probably be out of character every other second.
Some people would be with a group of friends saying "why do you like me?" and responses might go like "because my friend is with you right now and I want to hang out with her" which might lead to only one person truly liking the guy but the rest want to look cool.
An emo in the corner would be singing showtunes.
Some people might just be like "Apple! Fruit! Juice! Drink! Soda! Bubbles! Childhood!"
The stock-market would be crashing undoubtedly and a few politicians would get the boot.
Hell, if it was two days ago then my friend could have been arrested for smoking pot instead of straight-up lying to a cop and walking away.

Then I just though "No way would that ever happen" and continued on with my conversation.
P.S. What do you think could happen/change in your own personal life if this happened for one day?



I'm sorry, but I can not stand a certain actor. This guy is always typecast and people always argue for him and say "It's the director's fault" but he always plays the slightly cooky and awkward guy and when he isn't then he's monotone... He hasn't always been that way though, but now, Johnny Depp is just an actor that isn't that pleasant for me to watch.
Sleepy Hollow, cooky and awkward
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, cooky and extremely awkward
Pirates, Extremely cooky and less awkward.
People have argued to me that "It's just his acting choices for each role to make them different"... They are all the same just with more or less facial hair. One person told me "The director tells him to act like that and in Pirates he chose that on his own".. nice contradiction. He never looks like he's having fun, and whenever he doesn't do cooky and awkward he is monotone. (Sweeney Todd for example, He ruined that role)

I guess I shouldn't go on this rant... I already bitched about it enough yesterday

Edited in side-note after seeing some comments about how he is talented: I do think he does... or did have talent, it's just all the same now. I loved a lot of his more natural roles... and even though he's not a natural person in Edward Scissor-Hands, his delivery was a lot more real and less... "I am the whimsical Johnny Depp, FANGIRLS ARE MY AUDIENCE for I am the magic JD"


More dares

I went to a swimming party and a game of T&D was going on...
I kissed 2 girls
And 2 guys... and I touched a guys... dick... it had clothes over it still (THANK GOD)
On the plus side, a girl licked my nipple and another ran her tongue from my head down until I said stop

P.S. One girl was dared to touch her nose with her foot  by bending her foot behind her and around her head (She is a contortionist, that's not a joke, she was born ultra flexible)... she was wearing a swim suit... She's hairy... I'm not trying to sound like a perv, it just suddenly flashed to the whole group.
P.P.S. I got into an argument over films with someone, she said that the Terminator movies are all terrible... Then went on to praise the new Alice in Wonderland movie... Fucking Johnny Depp die-hards...

Gulliver's Travels

Well I just finished the movie Gulliver's Travels with Jack Black.
My thoughts on it are as follows, it was fun, the story may not have been the best (though the original story is a classic) and the jokes worked most of the time, it would most enjoyably be looked at as a fun family flick or something to see with friends.
Synopses: A guy who works a dead-end job gets demoted from boss of the mail-room (in a newspaper place) to mail-room worker and gets a talk about how he has no ambition or passion, so he tries talking to a girl he likes and instead lies to her telling her that he writes and travels and would be perfect for an opening for a travel/journalist and submits a plagiarized sample journal and gets hired and sent to the Bermuda Triangle.
He gets shipwrecked in a slightly hilarious way and washes up on a land where everyone is tiny except him.
The jokes that work come from the modernization, they said something along the lines of "It beith not you, it beith me"... "that makes no sense"
The jokes that don't work involve potty humor... I love certain potty humor but it got gross within the context of this film. For example: he trips and his ass-crack lands on a man... Maybe it is funny talking about it, but not during the film.
Overall I would say watch it and forget about it, it's a one-time flick.

P.S. I'm not going to talk about the effects because it was so random, sometimes fantastic and sometimes god-awful.


Holidays and my interpretations/memories

New Year's Day: "hey guys, I got a few bottles and baggies here wanna come over?" "Can't man, someone slipped my girl some tranquilizers"
Martin Luther King, Jr. Day: YEAH, MORE SLEEP!
Groundhog Day: "Ned... Ryerson. 'Needlenose Ned'? 'Ned the Head'? C'mon, buddy. Case Western High. Ned Ryerson: I did the whistling belly-button trick at the high school talent show? Bing! Ned Ryerson: got the shingles real bad senior year, almost didn't graduate? Bing, again. Ned Ryerson: I dated your sister Mary Pat a couple times until you told me not to anymore? Well?" I love that movie
Lincoln's Birthday: today, we celebrate one badass man, who is just so... badass
Valentine's Day: "Here honey, I got you a present" "for the last time, I'm not opening that box, your penis is in there, I know it" "...Fine, here's a card and a box of boxes of chalk candy" "I hate chalk candy." "More for me then"
St. Patrick's Day: Hello Mr. toilet, care to carry this for a bit (puke everywhere), thanks old buddy... zzzzzzz
April Fools' Day: "Jesus, what's gonna happen next?" "Hey Taylor!" "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME."
Easter: Hey, you see that egg? It was laid by a bunny! Don't believe me? See this? It's a statue depicting the God of this mess (Chocolate Easter Bunny) This is all lies told to you, mammals do lay eggs and I have the proof! What other way can this happen? 

Earth Day: What to do... I know! I'll go blo- damn you electricity...
Mother's Day: Hey Mom, hope you like the movies I bought you, I know you've been wanting them for a while
Father's Day: Hey Dad, hope you enjoy those beers so you can live through those chick flicks Mom recently got from a mysterious unknown source
Independence Day: Oh say can you see by the dawns early light 
what so proudly we blew
up all of our resources. 
We enjoy doing so, 
with humorous ease, 
and the explosions we watch 
to celebrate our inheritance
July 6th, my Birthday: Movies, gaming, and questionable activities and blowing up shit
Halloween: "Fuck yes, I know what I'm doing this year!" "Taylor, aren't a bit old for this" "Get the fuck out of my house"
Thanksgiving: BURP
Black Friday:... Friday... Black... Oh my God... It's a conspiracy... FUCK YOU REBECCA BLACK!
Christmas: Going out caroling! Be back soon... (To the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen)God fuck all you spoiled richboys, let Hell be your pay, Because I hate hearing your whining, every single day!
New Year's Eve:Wash, Rinse, Repeat


I'm not one to lose a bet/dare!

Right now I have a bet with a friend that by August I will have a viking beard (Swedish blood, and I also lived there for a while so the air is still in me)
I was once dared to keep ice by my nuts for a good 3 minutes... holy fuck... 20 dollars richer.

One day this will be the end of me

I also started a conspiracy around a friend regarding suing a circus for a trapeze accident and he's going to try them for some fried pickles and clown suits but it's all part of a big plan that will unfold by the night of the City Ball... I think it's confusing him and it makes me laugh... It wasn't a bet or a dare, it was fun.

One more dare, and this shows my stupidity:
A girl said skinny dip into a non-heated outdoor pool... it was snowing outside... and I would get make-out privileges... Not bright... That girl is sort of a bitch anyway... Why'd I do it?

I never pass up a good bet or dare.
P.S. I've realized, I do not have the face for the beard, but I still have promised to grow it, and I will post weekly pictures that may be disappointing because apparently my hair stops growing after a week, but I WILL BE RED BEARD!!


What we gotta do

Okay, so what we gotta do is we gotta get a spy and make sure he's sly and male, then we gotta get him some herb (wink-wink) get him on an airplane then just get him to stumble over his words about a hot female just so when he lifts off we can say "we saw my shy sly spy guy fly by"

Also, I got into that musical theatre group I auditioned for!
As a bass! :/
I'm a tenor.



I saw a high school performance of the musical "Children of Eden"
Children of Eden is the story of the creation of the world (in the religious sense) starting with Adam & Eve and ending with Noah and the flooding of the world.
It wasn't Broadway quality but it was fantastic anyway.
The kids had all of their hearts all the way in their performance and some of the singers were absolutely magnificent both in quality and how they portrayed it.
I specifically loved the person they got to play God and Abel.
The musical itself would've been bland if it wasn't for the technical and ensemble aspects of the show.
For the lighting, they had the rainbow to signify that the world wouldn't flood again but instead of just lighting up a rainbow in the back they had the different lights come up suddenly and each different color wasn't together as the rainbow at first but it all moved together.
The animals were all played by people (as it's supposed to be) and they made it clear what animals they were while not being too ridiculous with it.
The comedy was little but I'm thankful because it was a dramatic tale (but God promising Abel with a "pinky promise" was hilarious)

There was one thing I didn't get though and a friend of mine first pointed out, God is fucking evil and bi-polar as shit. (sorry, but I'm not the most religious guy and I'm mainly talking about the show not about the story)
First: he created the rebellion and all the shit that's wrong with Eve, and as the rebellion goes from her to Caine (Kane... some way or another to spell it) so that means God himself had to have had that rebellion in him making him imperfect also making him a hypocrite condemning Caine like that
Second: Killing all of the Caine bloodline (or all with the mark of Caine)... when they did nothing too big (I guess they said they were violent but we don't see it) BY FUCKING DROWNING THE GOD DAMNED WORLD... But one of the Caine's bloodline gets on the ark because Japheth (a son of Noah) is in love with the girl, Yonah (bloodline of Caine)... so he screws over all who's in the boat.... but then he let's them all live because Noah marries Japheth and Yonah, which would let the Caine's bloodline live... which is why the world was flooded... (I thought we said this guy was all powerful and all knowing and FORGIVING)

... I'm confused... but I loved it all anyway :D

Considering it was high school, it was absolutely fantastic
I'm tired... I don't usually drink coffee... CAFFEINE CRASH.


I have a new idea

I can't forget this one... I have an idea for a new one-act inspired by all my friends and their stories of idiotic customers, friend of mine literally ranted at a customer for asking what he can do to smell better... but the guy admitted he didn't use deodorant (and they were in the men's hygiene products area where the deodorant is located).
I imagine it went something like this:
Customer: Excuse me, sir, do you have anything that can help me with my embarrassing smell, I take showers daily but it seems to only work for about 3 or so hours.
Jon (friend): ... Of course, (looks behind him and grabs his personal choice of deodorant) I use this all the time, it really works.
Customer: Hmm, I don't use that stuff.
Jon: Oh, well, then I'd suggest this (hands him some spray deodorant)
Customer: No thanks... I don't like those sticks, they don't feel right and spray stuff gets me all "asthma-y"
Jon: ... Don't you use... Okay let me get this straight, you want to smell good? Then use some deodorant because I don't think we supply wands or elixers called "wiff-away" and- woah, I can tell what you were talking about, here's a coupon (hands a real coupon to him) and just so you know, just like the vegetables your parents told you to choke down as a kid, just because you don't like it, doesn't mean it's not beneficial to your health.
Customer: Oh screw off, you don't know what you're talking about.
Jon: but I do know what I smell, and it's a spoiled idiot. You know what, take this (Hands him a 5$ bill) and this (shoves the deodorant in his hands) it may not feel right, but it smells good.

This is based off of a real event, most of this is true but also extremely exaggerated.
P.S. Tips please, I know my writing isn't the best, but what could I work on to make them better :P

I feel like I suck

I did an audition... I fucked up...
So here's a Blog from a fish

Bored... Oh hey what's that? He's walking by... and he's still walking... what's behind me again?
Oh hey, look, he's still there!
Yummy, you are awesome, here's a kiss! Ow my face, what's this in front of me?
Oh hey look... Pebbles.
I didn't know I had a castle... it's sort of thin... I LIKE IT... OW
Not comfortable to ram into I see...

I think someone drugged my fish... he won't stay still for longer than two seconds
Coke laced fish-sticks anyone?


Just a spot of fun

007, this is terrible! That girl fell into the forest! She needs help.
What is the 007? You have an urgent look about you...
What say you 007?
I snuck this into your pocket while you were unconscious, 007.
007, is this what you're looking for?
This is a truly terrible situation 007, be brave.
007... 007... Pull yourself together 007!

Zelda games are much more fun when your characters name is 007


All righty then

Idiot/jackass/douchebaggy moves this last year and a few that I've seen:
I told a guy that I liked a girl... He asked her on a date the week after that (he showed no interest in her before)
At a party, this one girl was liked by two guys and she (after thinking over for a long time) made her choice with one... both were at the party and she was all over the guy she chose... of course the other guy feels rejected so she talks with him right before he heads home... The guy she chose was staring at them while she was explaining to him with an evil glare on his face that was basically saying "That's my girl don't you dare even talk to her"
Standing in line, suddenly a guy is like right behind me breathing on my neck... I get to the front of the line and he cuts... I spoke up and after a quarrel I was kicked out of the restaurant.
Sleeping on a bench during rehearsals (I finished all I had to do for the time being and I had 3 hours till I had to do something and I was tired) Woke up by being choked... "Haha, you should have seen your face."

Yet I can't wait for what happens tomorrow 



My feet have been asleep for five days, I guess I might have... Coma-toes
Hey, didya hear about the call between the dragon and the griffin? It was a mythed call
I'm a virgin... I don't give a fuck

Also, in response to "come to Europe" I actually lived in Sweden for a while :)
@ Kingmush, no.... it's not... at all


My nose

I have been playing a bunch of Arcade games non-stop lately.
Fighters and Shooters and just fun stuff...
I need an arcade in my town... I live near Vegas though and I've heard they have a "barcade" there... but I'm not 21 or older...
I remember one time that I went on a date with a girl while I was in High school and it was in the park... we started making out and suddenly her mother was standing there... Scared the shit out of me...
"Hello ma'am..."
"Having a good time?"
"... Yeah"
"C'mon Janae, we gotta go now, I'll give you ten minutes and I'll wait in the car"
".............. nice meeting you ma'am"
That was awkward.



What goes through my mind while waiting for the bathroom

When's he gonna get out of there, I need to go now... StumbleUpon.... I CAN'T PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR DETAILS MR. PHOTOGRAPHER!!!
YouTube... boring, boring...
How about some games... MARIO 3!
Playing... Just get through the damn level... FUCK... FUCKITY SHIT.
Break Dance clips... Hey I can do that... NO, THAT'S MY MOVE!!! HOW DARE HE... Matrix Dancer guy, I've been doing the bullet dodge move for years!....
(Now that I'm in a good mood)
I guess he can do that move too... I just need to up my moves to higher standards...

I'm a bitch about my dance moves being used by others... and it's not a good thing
P.S. feel free to bitch at me, I know I'm saying stuff worth being bitched at for :P